Who the heck put me in charge?!?

Hi! I’m “Mommy” to two lovely girls (4 and 1) and wife to a handsome hubby. I’m a part-time working mom, which is code for “I have 4 and 1/2 jobs” – (taking care of my girls, taking care of my marriage, taking care of the house, taking care of me, and oh yeah, that other job that I get paid for). Most of the time I still feel like I’m not a “grown up” yet and all day long I have experiences that make me question just exactly who put me in charge?! The funny thing about motherhood is that the more you learn, the less you know, and most days I feel like I’m well on my way to knowing NOTHING! 

When I first thought of starting a blog, I intended to write about the hilarious and ridiculous events that make up every day as a mother of my two precious girls, but as I thought more about it, I realized there is so much more to motherhood that deserves to be included. Now, quite possibly, writing this could solely serve as therapeutic for me, but I am betting other mothers out there will enjoy knowing that they are not alone on this crazy journey. I would enjoy knowing that, as sometimes I do feel all alone. Motherhood, to me, is of course a wonderful gift and I couldn’t feel more blessed to have the amazing babies that I do. I love them with all my heart and soul and our little family is really the only thing in this life that matters. Motherhood also, however, is a series of lessons about who we really are inside, as people, as women. Are we here to teach these little people, or are they here to teach us, how to be better people, better examples? I’ve never had a time in my life where I feel I’ve had to look as deeply at myself and address things that I didn’t really want to see. All because of two tiny little ladies who are watching my every move.

I believe there is a stereotype of mothers, the woman who gives up all aspects of herself to care for her family, that when one becomes a mother, nothing else in the world matters and can therefore be forgotten in the name of their children. The mother is the woman who can do it all; care for the children, clean the house, cook homemade meals, and for some of us, bring in some money! This is a lot of pressure to live up to! Of course, with two beautiful girls that I love more than anything, I would give up everything for them, in an instant, but I’m not sure that it is healthy to give up one’s self. In fact, I believe that keeping myself intact, strong and healthy, keeping my individuality, NOT making my happiness dependent on my husband or children, is really the only way to raise whole, healthy children. This is a huge topic and I have so much more to say on this, but I will leave that to another post.

I feel like parenting the second time around has given me so much more confidence as a mother. However, it has also taught me that I really know nothing. I am winging it. I am often times stressed, sleep deprived, emotionally frazzled and on the brink of what feels like a breakdown, but my heart is always in the right place and all I can do is pray that will be enough to be a successful parent.

As I write this, I speak only from my own experience, not for all moms by any means, however I’m sure that most moms share many of the same experiences. I am in no way an expert on anything! This blog is mostly for me because I enjoy writing and it allows me to process the craziness that goes on in my brain all day long. I would be flattered if others read it occasionally, but I in no way assume that will be the case, however if you are reading I hope you enjoy!

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